Steve Jones Leaves X-Factor; America Has Brian Dunkleman Flashbacks

Posted on January 31, 2012 by Kris M.

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The X-Factor had a successful premiere season under normal circumstances—but since this is Simon Cowell we’re talking about, the expectations were set a little too high. Fox expected lightning to strike twice, with X-Factor poised to become the next American Idol-sized hit. Unfortunately, since that didn’t happen, the powers-that-be have demanded a sacrifice—host Steve Jones.

It’s easy to put the blame on Steve Jones, who kept the show running but never quite caught on in popularity the way American Idol host Ryan Seacrest has. You don’t have to be an American Idol fan to know who Ryan Seacrest is—he’s practically a national treasure at this point. However, if you didn’t watch The X-Factor, would you be able to pick Steve Jones out of a crowd?

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That may be the problem that Simon Cowell is trying to rectify by letting go of Jones—however it could be a case of curing the symptoms, not the disease. The relative obscurity of Steve Jones is more a telltale sign of the show’s lack of promotion and relevance to pop culture. Kelly Clarkson was a household name when she won the first American Idol because the show was closely followed by the media and news outlets. X-Factor winner Melanie Amaro is as much of an unknown to the general public as Steve Jones, but since Cowell can’t fire her it’s Jones who must be cut loose.

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The downfall of Jones is also a bit of history repeating as American Idol also lost one of its hosts after the first season. Brian Dunkleman was originally a co-host alongside Ryan Seacrest, but left the show after one year. Dunkleman’s departure from Idol is often considered one of the all-time infamous career killing moves, although some sources speculate that Dunkleman was on his way to getting the axe anyway. Hopefully things will work out better for Steve Jones than it did for Dunkleman and that his career can survive.

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X-Factor judges Nicole Scherzinger and Paula Abdul will also be joining Jones in line at the unemployement office as Cowell has admitted that the show will undergo some heavy retooling for season two. It’s anybody’s guess as to who will be the one to replace Steve Jones and which new faces we’ll see behind the judge’s table, but it’s obvious that Cowell wants us to sit up and take notice.

Eight TV Shows That Deserve the Remake Treatment

Posted on January 31, 2012 by Kris M.

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Who would have thought that Hawaii Five-O would rise from the ashes to become a hit for CBS? Why didn’t we see the inevitable remake of 90210 coming? Can you believe that Fear Factor is back?

A timeless TV show is like a cockroach, no matter how hard you try to kill it, they just keep coming back. When done properly, a TV remake can build upon the foundation of the original while branching out into new territory. Since so many classic TV shows have been given the remake treatment, what’s the harm in a few more joining their ranks?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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This is the only way we can end the vampire craze—we have to make them the bad guys again. Buffy fans still clamor for more adventures with the Scooby Gang, but maybe it’s time to pass on the mantle to some fresh faces. Buffy works best when she’s a high school student, with the monsters she fights representing the horrors of adolescence.

Gilligan’s Island

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This cornball comedy would seem out of place in today’s market, but a few twists could make it funny again. Instead of a three-camera sitcom with a laugh track make it a mockumentary about a camera crew filming the maiden voyage of the SS Minnow. The show could be about the awkwardness of having to share an island with a colorful bunch of weirdoes.

Sabrina the Teenage Witch

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A Sabrina remake could cash in on a built-in audience of Harry Potter fanatics who desperately need more magic in their lives. Give Sabrina a magic school to attend or make her more of an action witch, who has to stop the forces of evil.

Road Rules

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This MTV reality series was like The Real World in a Winnebago, with a splash of The Amazing Race. In the age of “voluntourism, “it’d be great to see a Road Rules remake that promoted sustainable tourism by having the challenges focusing on helping people instead of bungee jumping and skydiving.

Freaks and Geeks

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The original series introduced Hollywood to its newest generation of A-Listers including Seth Rogan, Jason Segal and James Franco. Creator Judd Apatow has frankly paid his dues, it’s time to let him have full creative control and bring his original vision back to life—and introduce us to the next batch of up-and-comers.

The Addams Family

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If The Munsters can come back to TV, why can’t the Addams clan make a comeback too? We want to see a dark comedy update that’s more in line with the 90’s movies than the original TV show. Ghastly little girls saying morbid things in a monotone voice is always hilarious.

Daria

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Beavis and Butthead recently returned to MTV, so there may be hope for a Daria remake as well. Daria provided a mouthpiece for intelligent outcasts everywhere—we want to hear what that mouth has to say about modern topics like Occupy Wall Street, Jersey Shore, Facebook and video blogging.

The A-Team

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You have mercenaries who are on the lamb for a crime they didn’t commit, helping out the people fortunate enough to find them—but it’s unrealistic for people to find them every episode. Instead make each season about one big job and convert to a long-form storytelling style.

OMG New Arrested Development Jokes Are Probably Being Written AS I TYPE

Posted on January 31, 2012 by Bailey C.

Arrested Development Franklin Gob puppet

Image Source: andthismakesaheartbeat.wordpress.com

In news that will incapacitate my gleeful inner fangirl to the point of only being able to write in adolescent abbreviations, I am PTR (pleased to report) that ADev (Arrested Development) is AARGTH OMG!!! (apparently really going to happen oh, my God!) I feel rejuvenated, like I’ve been climbing all over an indoor geometry playground, which is a pretty specific feeling, I’ll admit, but a good one nevertheless. Continue reading →

Fear Factor Goes Too Far With Donkey Money Shot

Posted on January 31, 2012 by Dabney B

Image: Huffington Post

I don’t know about Fear Factor. I’ve always felt like I’m on the verge of liking it, if they could just take it in a slightly different direction. I mean, I love Syfy’s Scare Tactics, a show about creating an elaborate Punk’d-esque ruse designed to scare the pants off of some Joe Blows.

I think my problem with Fear Factor is that it’s hard to really capture the essence of fear when the contestants are on a television show, know they’re on a show, and are fully aware that no real harm will come to them. At that point, is it really scary? I think a better name for the show would be Discomfort Factor or maybe I Really Don’t Want to Eat That Factor.

In fact, the gross foods thing is probably the main reason why I never could quite get behind it. What’s scary about eating a cockroach? It’s disgusting and repulsive, certainly, but not really terrifying. I mean, sure, I don’t expect these contestants to be perfectly comfortable and experience some five-star dining, but are eating spiders, testicles, and eyeballs really the way to go?

Well, Fear Factor may have finally crossed a line with what might be the most disturbing gastrointestinal challenge yet. In an episode that more than likely won’t ever make it to the air, contestants were charged with drinking a warm glass of donkey urine, followed by a frothy mug of donkey semen.

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Yummers. Usually I have to give a sketchy Internet site my credit card number to get that kind of entertainment.

So, NBC execs finally decided that they’d crossed a line and decided to pull it the day before it was supposed to air. What kind of message does it send when the producers of a show decide that they’ve gone too far? It’s pretty clear that they’ve just run out of ideas and are scraping the bottom of the barrel for the most repulsive “food” dishes imaginable.

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And the most disturbing thing about this whole episode is that the show never got aired. I mean, I already told you that, but think about it: someone went up on (what he thought would be) national TV and chugged down a mug of donkey semen to win money. He swallowed his pride and went through all of this effort – and the show never gets aired. Is it a good thing that the country isn’t exposed to his shame? Is it a bad thing that he never got his 15 minutes of shame? We may never know.

In any event, this whole debacle should serve as a warning to Fear Factor: I think you’ve jumped the pool of shark guts, which you’re making contestants eat for some stupid reason. It’s probably about time that you cut your losses and stop paying people to vomit up their dignity (which looks a lot like mostly chewed maggots or bull testicles) in front of America.

Laugh Tracks: You’re Killin’ Me

Posted on January 31, 2012 by Anni M.

Image source: sniderogue.wordpress.com

There is nothing more annoying, more nail-screechingly appalling, than a sitcom laugh-track. I’m not a fan of sitcoms in general—they’re formulaic, predictable, fake-as-heck and just plain boring—but a sitcom with a laugh-track is like a fat-free frozen yogurt “sundae” with carob chips. It was disgusting already. Now it’s repulsive. Did you think I’d be fooled by “delicious morsel” imposters? Did you think I’d be all, “oh wow, this is totally chocolate!” Um, no.

Laughing is supposed to be the reward for a clever joke. It is supposed to be the delightful product of a job well done, erupting organically from an involuntary reaction to something funny or fun, like an amusement park. When a laugh happens, a real laugh, an angel baby gets its fairy wings… or something. A devil fairy gets its baby feet? Whatever, the point is: there ain’t no substitute for actual laughing. Period.

Image source: Sitcomsonline.com

The first laugh track appeared on the Hank McCune Show in 1950. I can only imagine the television executives being like, “Wait a second… fake laughter? Do you know what this means? We never have to write an actually funny joke again!” It’s like when Hormel invented Spam. In America, we have a long and storied history of replacing perfectly good real things with significantly less good fake versions of those things. It’s big business.

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I can’t watch a show with a laugh track. It doesn’t matter how funny the show is, how much I love the actors or how drunk I am. I tried to watch an episode of The Big Bang Theory and, for the first time in my life, I thought Blossom totally sucked. Yeah, I know, Blossom had a laugh track too. See, back when Blossom was popular, I was a kid. It may be hard to believe, but back then I wasn’t as super smart and wise as I am today. I heard a laugh track and I thought, “Oh look, there’s an audience, and they’re laughing.” I probably also thought, “huh, Spam, is that like some kind of chicken?”

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It may be a controversial opinion, but I think it’s good writing, good acting and good old-fashioned showmanship that make a show funny. My favorite comedy shows on television today—The Office and Parks and Recreation—don’t have laugh tracks. They don’t tell me when I’m supposed to crack up and I don’t need them to. The jokes stand alone, proud and tall, monuments to that old-timey, nearly forgotten television art: comedy.

TV Boyfriends: George Clooney

Posted on January 31, 2012 by Kate W.

Image From: NY Daily News

The charming and debonair George Clooney will be the subject of tonight’s Inside the Actor’s Studio with James Lipton. Most people think of him as a dashing international movie star, but some of us still think of him as our TV Boyfriend. Below are some of his dreamiest television roles:

Continue reading →

How to Sound Like A Geek

Posted on January 31, 2012 by Mia R.

Image source: spaciousplanet.com

Is there a special geek someone you’re trying to impress, but don’t know what to say? Worry no more! This guide will help fake you through 4 TV shows that nerds love (not these four) to help you fit in with the not-so-cool kids. Continue reading →

The Strained LOTR/Office Analogies Continue as Mindy Kaling Signs on for New Show

Posted on January 31, 2012 by Bailey C.

Image Source: Ladybusinessblog.wordpress.com

Carrying on the noble (dorky) tradition of my previous Office Breakup post, Mindy Kaling has decided to desert the Fellowship and remain in Rohan to be the wife of Eomer, the horse-lord. And by Rohan I mean Fox. And by Eomer, I of course mean a solo show in which she plays a struggling OB/GYN attempting to “balance her personal and professional life.” Continue reading →

Five Reasons Why American Dad is Seth MacFarlane’s Best TV Show

Posted on January 31, 2012 by Kris M.

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When American Dad first premiered it met with some harsh criticism from Seth MacFarlane fans who felt the show was just an uncreative rehash of Family Guy. Patriotic patriarch Stan Smith seemed like just another dumb oaf with a hot wife and weird kids—much like Family Guy’s Peter Griffin. However throughout the years, American Dad has broken away from its sister show to stand-out as MacFarlane’s funniest, most creative animated comedy to date. Here are just a few reasons why American Dad stands out as the crown jewel of the Seth MacFarlane empire.

No Cutaway Gags

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The humor in American Dad is largely connected to the plot or the characters themselves. The show rarely relies on cut-away gags like Family Guy and the few times a cut-away has been used, it has been relevant to the plot. Family Guy likes to fill up time with random comedy or musical segments, but American Dad uses every precious minute of screen time focusing on the Smith family.

Characters Not Caricatures

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The Smiths are a much more well-rounded family than the Griffins from Family Guy. Peter always fills the big idiot role, while Stan is actually capable and intelligent; he’s just blinded by patriotism. On Family Guy, everybody hates Meg because that’s the joke. On American Dad, the conflict between Hayley and Stan is because both are passionate about their political views. In fact, that’s the biggest difference between the two shows—the Smith family is always going out to pursue their passions while the Griffins sit around riffing on pop culture.

A Man of Action

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It’s always funny when Peter and the Giant Chicken get into a fight, but Family Guy’s extended fight scenes rarely have anything to do with the plot. On American Dad, Stan is a CIA agent, which means the show can spice it up every now and then with big action sequences because they are relevant to his profession. After all, there’s a lot of humor in a CIA agent’s son thinking the controls to a UAV drone plane is actually a portable video game system.

An Alien with Personality

Roger, the alien that lives in the attic, is often compared to Stewie because both are witty, effeminate comic relief characters voiced by Seth MacFarlane. However, Roger is a more functional character—like the weird uncle of the family. Since he has to wear a disguise when he leaves the house, every episode features a number of different Roger personas. Roger might be MacFarlane’s greatest voice acting role as it takes incredible acting range to play a character who is playing a character.

It Gets Better

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Like any good sitcom, American Dad needed a few seasons baking in the TV oven before it could come out just right. The first season is not as well developed as later seasons, but once the voice actors and the writing staff locked down the characters, it has consistently dominated the Animation Domination lineup. If you haven’t checked in with the Smith family in awhile, you should tune in because you might be pleasantly surprised.

First Look: Anthony Bourdain’s “The Layover”

Posted on January 30, 2012 by Bailey C.

Image Source: Foodista.com

Somehow I managed to miss the fact that Anthony Bourdain has a new TV show. How could this be? He’s basically the patron saint of snarky food enthusiasts, so you can imagine how deeply I am emotionally invested here. Luckily I have friends (Dugan) who are also snarky food enthusiasts and were similarly shocked that I had not seen said new show. Before everyone panics, you should know that it has all been rectified and the world can continue on, at least until November because this is 2012 and it’ll all be over soon anyway. Continue reading →