T.V. Crushes Worth Having: Starbuck

Posted on February 9, 2012 by Anni M.

Image source: Icyte.com

If you thought my crushes were limited to emotionally precarious boy geniuses with floppy hair and OCD, you were sorely mistaken. My crushes also happen to include emotionally stunted, muscle-bound, girl fighter pilots named Kara Thrace. I don’t have a type: I have brainy girl crushes too (I’m looking at you, Velma), it’s just, there’s something about women butt-kickers: the legs, the attitude, and the kicking (with the legs). There’s also something about underwear scenes.

Image source: Pajiba.com

Starbuck (Kara Thrace) played by Katee Sackhoff, is an enigma wrapped in a gun-belt, wrapped in a cute tank top, wrapped in an angel-faced Caprican. She’s hot-headed and cocky, single-mindedly anti-cylon and pyramid-balls-to-the-wall alcoholic. She’s not about to do as she’s told but you better believe, when the chips are down, she’ll pull some twisty loop-de-loop maneuvers in her viper to save Galactica from nuclear missiles.

Image source: Ew.com

I have to admit, I could never get into the original Battlestar. I’m not proud of my ignorance, and after this let’s please never mention it again. I mention it now only because it makes it hard to do a play-by-play comparison of Katee Sackhoff’s Starbuck and Dirk Benedict’s 1978 version. I can, however, make a comparison between their equally awesome actor names that evoke certain anatomical treasures best left euphemized.

Here are the two Starbucks, in Starbucks, drinking Starbucks, smoking Starbucks cohibas:

Starbuck from the Original and New Series'

Image source: Geekologie.com

I especially love Starbuck when I compare her to the skinny, pointy, blond Cylon (Trisha Helfer) everyone seems so excited about. Puh-lease. Yes, Starbuck is by any account a 100% gorgeous woman, but she manages to also not be a stick-girl, which, while I wish I didn’t have to mention it because it shouldn’t even be an issue, is an issue and I do have to mention it.

Image source: Kateesackhoff.com

I don’t know if the network gave her a hard time about her weight but I would be surprised if they didn’t. She’s got discernible hips! You can’t see a single rib! I choose to believe Katee Sackhoff, true to her character, flipped a big fat finger at the network and played Starbuck just as she should have: curvily. I like boobs. Call me crazy.

Image source: Duckydoestv.com

One thing that kind of annoys me about Starbuck is her slight dip into the crazy sauce towards the end of the series. C’mon, S.B.! I count on your unerring fortitude, your flinty tenacity. Painting pretty pictures of circles all over the ship is not the act of a mighty, strapping young pilot. Although, sexy paint-spattered skin and outfits does kind of make a psychosis worthwhile.

Snap Judgment: The River

Posted on February 8, 2012 by Kate W.

Image From: Poptower

Horror movies of the found-footage variety have risen and fallen in popularity in the dozen years since The Blair Witch Project took the world by storm. In the wake of recent buzzy movies in this genre (including The Devil Inside and Chronicle) it should be no surprise that the trend is finally making the jump to television.

ABC’s The River (co-created by Oren Pelli, creator of the found-footage juggernaut Paranormal Activity franchise) follows a family as they search for their missing husband and father. He happens to be a famed Steve Irwin-esque explorer who traveled the world looking for amazing creatures. This enables the show’s conceit; they are funding the search through a documentary with an accompanying crew filming their search. Think The Office, but with missing people, and ghosts.

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I Left My Heart With Steve Irwin

Posted on February 7, 2012 by Anni M.

Image source: Crocodilehunter.com.au

There are some people in this big bad world that make it all seem less death-y and warlike and sad. People who transcend, like a hot air balloon held aloft with love… so, like an un-creepy/wholesome hot love balloon. These people are so rare they’re like the Vancouver Island marmot or the Yangtze River dolphin. You might see one if you travel to China, then sit on a rowboat for a week straight, then get lucky. Or you might see one if he gets a Discovery Channel television show. If you do see one, you’ll be changed on the inside—like a potato that starts out hard and kind of wet but then, once baked with the experience of a lifetime, softens right up and becomes mashable. Steve made my insides become mashable, which I discovered when he died.

Image source: Animal.discovery.com

It wasn’t just the croc wrangling, the crikeys, the goofy grin on a big face, the teary-eyed love for the crawliest spider, the khaki outfits, the strong legs… it was the ultimate devotion between man and wife, Steve and Terri, that turned my intense entertainment-style fascination into true, life-long admiration. Two peculiar, astonishing, almost agonizingly sincere people, both in love with all nature’s creatures, both enchanted by hiking boots and bangs… that they found each other is amazing enough. A more perfect union there never was. But then, that they found me, beamed from the other side of the world, smiling and dopey for crocs… I’ve never had warmer feelings for a coupla kooks I don’t even know, and I never will.

Image source: Animal.discovery.com

Steve Irwin was simply a delight to the institution of delight. Sorry Terri, you’re awesome too and surprisingly hot, but Steve had that thing that makes a man a monument. Steve Irwin didn’t sweat sweat, he sweat love potions: potions for wallabies, potions for snakes and potions for children of all ages. I think that’s why he was killed in the sea. His potions got trapped under his cute wetsuit. I joke, but it’s not a joke. Seeing Terri’s first interview after his death was so acutely painful, so completely miserable to watch… I’m still not over it. I don’t know how you bounce back from something like that—losing your perfect love.

Image source: Animal.discovery.com

On a lighter note: Bindi.

Image source: Animal.discovery.com

The girl is amazing: precocious, cute, and just like her dad. I have really high hopes that one day she’ll fill his muddy shoes in my heart. But what’s this music business? I keep seeing her on talk shows doing raps with creepazoid adult back-up dancers in matching outfits, and I think, “Bindi, you’re a fine girl! This is undignified!” Then again, when your dad was Steve Irwin, raising his fist and shouting “Whoo Hoo” and “Blimey, she’s a fine shiela!” all over international television, I guess you’re entitled to be a little hard-of-dignity sometimes. And I guess we better love you for it.

A Few of Television’s Best Robots

Posted on February 3, 2012 by Anni M.

Image source: Gawker.com

As a sci-fi fanatic, nothing gets me more psyched than a good robot. People have an endless fascination with the human-like machine. It’s so awesome watching them scoot around on their little treads! Of course, not all T.V. robots are cute and cuddly—some are so human they make us question our own humanity, while others strike terror in the hearts of Time Lords. Here are some of my favorite television robots for your reading pleasure.

Rosey the Robot Maid

Image source: Robotanime.com

Apparently, in the future, we can dispense with that pesky paying-a-fair-wage-for-an-honest-day’s-work thing. No smoke breaks. No lunch. Just a sweet robot named Rosey to take your coat, discipline your children, and give you advice about being a good Spacely Sprockets employee.

Vicki the Small Wonder

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V.I.C.I., or Voice Input Child Identicant, is the robot daughter of Ted Lawson, a robotics engineer who’s attempt at building a domestic servant backfired when his creation turned out to be a super-intelligent, self-improving “real” girl. Along with his family, Ted creepily decides to pretend Vicki is their actual human daughter. Never mind that Vicki was the object of many a real young boy’s affections (or because of it) the writers decided the family would keep Vicki in their 12-year-old son’s bedroom cabinet. Somehow this didn’t bother the censors.

Star Trek’s Lieutenant Commander Data: Technically an Android

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I won’t lie: Data is my favorite mechanical creature on television, hands down. Created by Dr. Noonien Soong on the planet Omichron Theta, Data is a sentient android serving as Chief Operations Officer on the Starship Enterprise. Data is thoroughly loveable as he strives for his own humanity—struggling nobly to understand humor and human emotion, learning to whistle, satisfying a woman, and, in the season 2 episode “Measure of a Man,” proving his autonomy and civil rights under Starfleet law. Emotion chip or no emotion chip, the Data-Geordi bromance never stops.

Gypsy, Tom Servo and Crow T. Robot

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Joel Hodgson’s wacky robot friends man-up to do battle with the worst movies ever made in the beloved Mystery Science Theater 3000. No peanut gallery is complete without their shadowy little heads. Gypsy is just in here because I felt bad leaving her out. Cambot, well, we hardly knew ye.

Dr. Who’s Cybermen

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Technically cyborgs, this race of mechanical men use spinning metal torture chairs to transform human beings (and other humanoid aliens, of which there are inexplicably many in the Dr. Who canon) into more of themselves. It’s kind of like the Borg if the Borg were completely incased in metal and had funny little rectangle mouths.

The Cylons

Image source: Criticalgamers.com

Battlestar Gallactica (the college years) hit a home run with their totally human-like Cylons (Cybernetic Lifeform Node). Unlike other robotic incarnations on television, the Cylons have emotions, they bleed, they plot… they do all the messed up bologna humans do. You know you’ve come a long way when you don’t even need albino makeup for your robot actors. Also, Battlestar Gallactica seems to understand something fundamental about my people: N.L.L.L. (nerds love Lucy Lawless).

Don’t Miss This Episode: Angel’s “Five By Five”/”Sanctuary”

Posted on February 3, 2012 by Bailey C.

Image Source: angel.fcpages.com

Our new blog series Don’t Miss This Episode takes you in to the standout episodes of your favorite shows.

At their very best, television episodes play upon the mythology of the series, the characters they’ve built and the major moral or philosophical themes the show has dealt with. You will likely remember this sort of thing in that one episode of The Hills where Lauren Conrad must choose between buying a Fendi purse or really going all-out for the Chanel. Continue reading →

Fear Factor Stunts We’d Like To See

Posted on January 30, 2012 by Kate W.

After the unprecedented success of Survivor at the turn of the millennium, it seems like every network jumped onto the reality TV bandwagon. Many of them blurred together, but one standout was NBC’s Fear Factor. While the majority of the new reality glut seemed to focus on romance (The Bachelor, married by America, Joe Millionaire, Temptation Island), Fear Factor was the anti-sexy new show in town. Unless watching people eating bugs was your idea of a hot date, that is.

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T.V. Crushes Worth Having: David Krumholtz

Posted on January 30, 2012 by Anni M.

Image source: Wikipedia.org

I’ll admit it, I started watching Numb3ers because it was available on Netflix streaming, David Krumholtz held a title role, and I needed something to do whilst folding laundry. Despite the creepy tight mouth on Rob Morrow’s Don Eppes, and season one’s laughably daffy dialogue, Num3ers eventually grew on me as a show, but not as much as David Krumholtz’s Charlie Eppes grew on me as a tumor… a tumor of love.

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Unlike my Matthew Gray Gubler obsession, which started with episode one of Criminal Minds, I’ve been a Krumholtz admirer since he played the grumpy elf Bernard in the Santa Clause movies. That would make us both about 14 when the romance began: young love.

Image source: Teaandluv.wordpress.com

But it’s his portrayal of Professor Eppes—the bumbling, emotionally available, math prodigy, crime fighter—that transformed my naïve adolescent crush into a world-wise, 100% adult, idée fixe. (For some reason French words make pervy seem, I don’t know, French).

What is it about a bumbling, floppy-haired math professor that drives girls wild? I imagine it happens every day in math classrooms across the country. Young, impressionable students swoon as bespectacled PhDs manipulate numbers before their kohl-lined eyes. I’m sure it’s a classic syndrome, like the Florence Nightingale effect. Sexy nurses, sexy mathematicians… same diff, right?

While DK has played many roles besides that of Charlie Eppes, and I will admit to an intense fondness for Mr. Universe in the Firefly movie, I don’t see any reason to dwell on non-Num3ers performances. The truth is, I’m more in love with Charlie than I am with David Krumholtz. Maybe that’s controversial to say. Character-love still isn’t technically legal in most states. And there is a strange emptiness I feel now that I’ve watched the final episode of the final season. Never again will I witness Charlie cocking his eyebrow in a new way. It’s heartbreaking. I’m only kind of kidding.

Image source: Mirrorsmusingsandmagic.blogspot.com

I feel I should take a moment to appreciate the friends and family members that have supported Charlie over the years. Judd Hirsch’s Alan Eppes, Charlie’s father, never without an unsolicited piece of advice; Navi Rawat’s Amita, Charlie’s stupid, gorgeous, math genius girlfriend; Peter MacNicol’s Larry Fleinhardt, the theoretical physicist who encouraged a young Charlie to reach for the stars; the FBI’s rotating cast of tough-as-nails coppers with their varying degrees of math literacy; and of course, the criminals, without whose murders and miscellaneous violent crimes Charlie’s algorithms would not have been possible.

Image source: Ebsilk.com

I would like to not thank whoever is responsible for mutilating Charlie’s hair throughout the sixth season. I’m looking at you, Ron Scott, Hair Department Head, 2010.

CBS Buys Show About Girl Hacker Detective That is Totally Not Lisbeth Salander, Not At All

Posted on January 30, 2012 by Bailey C.

Image Source: 20min.ch

First there was Armageddon and Deep Impact. A Bug’s Life and Antz. Gordy and Babe. Snow White and the Huntsman and Mirror, Mirror. And now, thanks to CBS, we have a new War Between the Screen Entertainments With Similar Subjects. Continue reading →

Don’t Miss This Episode: Buffy’s “Once More, With Feeling”

Posted on January 27, 2012 by Bailey C.

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Our new blog series Don’t Miss This Episode takes you in to the standout episodes of your favorite shows.

Musical episodes of otherwise non-musical shows can be a tricky thing. Too easily they can fall into gimmickry, or the music itself can be lacking, or the actors look intensely out of their depth for the full length of the episode. But when they work, boy do they work. Continue reading →

Why You Should Be Excited for the Upcoming Green Arrow TV Series

Posted on January 27, 2012 by Kris M.

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There’s a superhero coming to TV who proves it’s not that easy being green. The CW is developing Arrow, a new television series based on the Green Arrow comic books by DC Comics. Oliver Queen, also known as the vigilante Green Arrow, is like a modern-day Robin Hood who fights crime and battles corruption using his phenomenal archery skills.

This isn’t the first time that the emerald archer has made an appearance on television Green Arrow been a featured character on cartoons like Justice League Unlimited and Batman: The Brave and the Bold. He was also a main character on The CW drama Smallville for several seasons, where he was played by Justin Hartley. Arrow will be a completely new franchise with no relation to the Smallville character.

Although comic book nerds everywhere are already excited about the upcoming TV show, the rest of you may be wondering what’s so thrilling about a guy who uses a bow and arrow.

Batman Without the Brooding

Image: shadowness.com

Green Arrow is often considered a lighthearted counterpart to Batman, another superhero in the DC Comics universe. Both are wealthy playboys that use their fortunes to finance their vigilante careers after a family tragedy. The difference is that Bruce Wayne only pretends to be a womanizing ladykiller and party animal while Ollie genuinely is one.

Who Needs Powers?

The fun of watching a hero like Green Arrow is that anybody could be him if they trained hard enough. Green Arrow is an ordinary human who uses a combination of trick arrows and hand-to-hand combat to take instead of superpowers. This means we won’t see cheesy TV superpower special effects that are rarely used. Instead, Ollie’s exploding arrows, shock arrows and smoke arrows will be cheap and easy to use frequently enough to give the show a fair amount of action.

Ripped From the Headlines

Image: screenrant.com

Green Arrow is the perfect superhero for a recession due to his Robin Hood sensibilities and focus on economic inequality. Ollie Queen uses his fortunes to help people and his bow-and-arrow to stop the corruption of the wealthy. In the comics he also got into the politics game, eventually becoming mayor of the city he protects, so that he could have even more opportunities to help the unfortunate.

Black Canary

Image: comicbookmovie.com

In the comics, Dinah Lance is the superhero Black Canary, a partner and lover to Green Lantern. In Arrow, she will instead be an attorney that has made it her goal to bring the 1% to justice following the death of her sister, including the Queen family. Chances are we’ll see her become Black Canary before long, giving us a will-they, won’t-they superhero romance for the ages.

Survivor Story

Image: talkingcomicbooks.com

The most intriguing part of the Green Arrow mythos is his origin story, which is sure to captivate audiences. Ollie managed to survive a shipwreck on his family’s yacht and spent five years on an island in the South China Sea. There he trained himself to be the world’s greatest archer, learning how to live without his wealth.