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Always been curious about a particular TV show but don’t really know how best to start? Let our Series Primer show you the way!
Oh, Next. You glorious, empty, televised equivalent of a Cheez-puff. You are so unnatural and strangely orange yet, when I am tired, sad, sick or all of the above, you are all I need. Continue reading
Image: Huffington Post
I don’t know about Fear Factor. I’ve always felt like I’m on the verge of liking it, if they could just take it in a slightly different direction. I mean, I love Syfy’s Scare Tactics, a show about creating an elaborate Punk’d-esque ruse designed to scare the pants off of some Joe Blows.
I think my problem with Fear Factor is that it’s hard to really capture the essence of fear when the contestants are on a television show, know they’re on a show, and are fully aware that no real harm will come to them. At that point, is it really scary? I think a better name for the show would be Discomfort Factor or maybe I Really Don’t Want to Eat That Factor.
In fact, the gross foods thing is probably the main reason why I never could quite get behind it. What’s scary about eating a cockroach? It’s disgusting and repulsive, certainly, but not really terrifying. I mean, sure, I don’t expect these contestants to be perfectly comfortable and experience some five-star dining, but are eating spiders, testicles, and eyeballs really the way to go?
Well, Fear Factor may have finally crossed a line with what might be the most disturbing gastrointestinal challenge yet. In an episode that more than likely won’t ever make it to the air, contestants were charged with drinking a warm glass of donkey urine, followed by a frothy mug of donkey semen.
Image: Unicorn Booty
Yummers. Usually I have to give a sketchy Internet site my credit card number to get that kind of entertainment.
So, NBC execs finally decided that they’d crossed a line and decided to pull it the day before it was supposed to air. What kind of message does it send when the producers of a show decide that they’ve gone too far? It’s pretty clear that they’ve just run out of ideas and are scraping the bottom of the barrel for the most repulsive “food” dishes imaginable.
Image: Ksee 24
And the most disturbing thing about this whole episode is that the show never got aired. I mean, I already told you that, but think about it: someone went up on (what he thought would be) national TV and chugged down a mug of donkey semen to win money. He swallowed his pride and went through all of this effort – and the show never gets aired. Is it a good thing that the country isn’t exposed to his shame? Is it a bad thing that he never got his 15 minutes of shame? We may never know.
In any event, this whole debacle should serve as a warning to Fear Factor: I think you’ve jumped the pool of shark guts, which you’re making contestants eat for some stupid reason. It’s probably about time that you cut your losses and stop paying people to vomit up their dignity (which looks a lot like mostly chewed maggots or bull testicles) in front of America.
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The secret’s out, everyone. In a deep confessional interview on the prestigously titled, “Dan Le Batard is Highly Questionable”, longtime Wheel of Fortune host and outwardly fairly mellow dude Pat Sajak admitted that he used to show up to his hosting job while under the influence of alcohol. Continue reading
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Always been curious about a particular TV show but don’t really know how best to start? Let our Series Primer show you the way!
Ah, food. For years (thousands, really) we as a species were only content to eat it. What barren, miserable, lonely years those were. Now, as we lurch forward gracefully into the dawn of a new millennium Continue reading
Today is the Chinese Spring Festival – specifically, the year of the dragon. As I write, my Chinese girlfriend is sitting in the other room, singing Chinese songs in sync with the performers in an extremely popular “Chinese Gala.” I saw it last year and I don’t really see the appeal. It’s got a sort of ABC family special vibe to it, where everybody is wearing their best outfits, smiling ear-to-ear, and offering wholesome, family-friendly and government-approved entertainment to the masses.
Some of the performances are pretty impressive, though, including dancing, traditional music, and many other acts (It’s still a bit early for 2012′s gala to show up on Youtube, so check out some 2011 acts here.)
The reason why I’m bringing this up is that there is a lot of TV out there that the English-speaking world is pretty much completely unaware of. We’ve written a few pieces on foreign television, but in honor of the Chinese Spring Festival, I thought I’d do something a little bit different and cover some Chinese shows that are honestly interesting enough to make it on American television.
The Premise: This show is basically a televised job interview. A person looking for work comes out in front of 10 or so headhunters from huge, growing companies that are looking to hire. At the prodding of the host, the guest explains his credentials and why he’d make a good employee.
Image: CCTV
In some cases, the guest has to fight for a chance to get hired, struggling to convince his would-be bosses that he’s good for the jobs. In other cases, the guest’s credentials are so stellar that the headhunters will argue with each other for the chance to hire, throwing out increasingly higher wages better benefits to lure the worker into their company.
If it Were American: To be honest, it’s really surprising that we don’t have a popular show like this over here in the States. With such high unemployment rates and the still-crumby economy, I think people would love to watch a game show where the prize is a solid job, rather than prize money. Everyone dreams of winning the lottery or the top prize in Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, but there are still droves of people who dream of landing a great job.
The Premise: Recently, dating shows have hooked up with reality TV and made a life-long commitment to be loving and faithful to each other. That’s kind of a shame, really, because now you can’t find a dating show that doesn’t involve a camera crew following couples around on dates. Whatever happened to shows like the Dating Game?
Image: The Guardian
Well, Chinese television is still willing to experiment with a purer form of dating show. In this series, 24 lovely ladies stand behind podiums and await their suitors. A guy comes up and talks about himself. As the ladies learn more and more about him, they gradually hit the button and turn off the light, showing that they’re uninterested. After the guy spends his allotted time on stage, he gets to pick one of the remaining babes to go off on a swanky date.
Image: Marketplace
One of the interesting twists is that the guy picks his favorite girl before even getting on stage. If they end up getting together, the pair gets to go on a full blown vacation together.
If it Were American: This show would have a good chance of standing out because it isn’t completely overrun by reality TV elements. When the alternatives are The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, and Millionaire Matchmaker, I think a lot of viewers would love to see a dating show that’s all about the game show and dating aspects, and could care less about what goes on after the couple leaves the stage.
The Premise: How many layups can your husband make in 30 seconds? How long can your husband hang from a bar with only 1 hand before he falls? How many hotdogs can your husband eat in 60 seconds?
Image: CCTV
In case you’ve ever wondered the answer to ludicrous questions like these, perhaps you should check out My Man Can, a game show where wives make wagers on the capabilities of their hubbies. If their husband can pull off the number that the wife wagers, then they get points; if he can’t, then they lose points. The winning couple gets to go on a vacation anywhere on earth! Fabulous!
Image: CCTV
If it Were American: Technically, this show was originally German (“My Mann Kann”). Who here is surprised that the nation obsessed with the ubermensch would dream up this show concept? Anyways, they sold the show to China, where it has been flourishing. Considering that the show’s various iterations have been successful in both Germany and China, it’s quite likely that the show could take off in the States, as well. Replace the vacation with a $100,000 cash prize, give the obstacle designers a bigger budget, and you’ve got a show American couples would love to watch.
Image Source: Huffingtonpost.com
Ah, Friday. A time when all things seem new and possible. Unless you’re me, in which case you live in Portland so it’s raining and you have to get up at five-thirty in the morning and immediately interact with six-year-olds, which is a fate I would wish upon very few people. But though my socks might be dampened, my spirit is not–plus, it was quite the week for television. Continue reading
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A new year heralds an overabundance of eggnog, a new generation becoming intensely confused about the meaning of the words “Auld Lang Syne”, a fresh slew of singing competitions, and, if the fates are kind, a new season of Project Runway. Continue reading
image: 605magazine.com
With 2011 winding down, we look back on some of our favorite programs and wonder what it was that made them our favorites. Was it the endless drama? Was it the witty dialogue? Or was it simply a case of, “Man that host is a hottie!”
Let’s take a brief look at a small sampling of the hottest hosts of the year as we hope to see them again next year:
image: abc.com
Jill Wagner helped to host ABC’s “Wipeout” which showcased Americans who were gluttons for punishment and embarrassment on national television as they attempted nearly impossible to defeat obstacle courses. She has been lovely to look at and laughed at others mishaps right along with us.
image: tvguide.com
Nick Lachey may have sometimes seemed uncertain on television as he hosted this year’s “Sing Off” singing competition (yes, another singing competition). What didn’t bother us, however, was how good he looked in a suit.
image: nydailynews.com
Meredith Viera and her sparkling eyes and pearly white smile lit up the set of reruns of “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire”. She was kind to the contestants which is always attractive and definitely easier on the eyes than Regis Phillbin.
image: extratv.warnerbrothers.com
If dark haired and dimpled is more your style, Mario Lopez was sure to please as a host on the entertainment news show, “Extra”. His days of dazzling with that smile began back on “Saved By the Bell” days, but things haven’t changed much since then except that he’s ditched the curly mullet, thankfully!
image: tampabay.com
Julie Chen had a couple of hosting gigs under her belt including “Big Brother” and “The Talk” in 2011. She’s put in her fair share of appearances over the years, but she’s never looked better.
Obviously there are many other hosts who made it that much easier to tune in week to week. Who else deserves a spot on the Hottest Hosts of 2011?
Image: TVloop
TV seems to be a breeding ground for jerks, and for good reason. Jerks make for excellent television. They are natural lightning rods for drama, and resolve issues in the most inappropriate fashion imaginable. Today, we’re starting a TV jerk competition to determine TV’s biggest jerk. We still have no idea what we’re calling the competition. It’s hard to call it something like “Jerkathon” without it sounding obscene.
Not everybody can be a head chef. It’s a fast-paced high stress environment where the quality of your work is immediately judged. It’s definitely the type of job that’s best suited for Type A personalities. Naturally, we can expect a lot of cooks to be rather intense.
Gordon Ramsay takes that stereotype and runs with it. Not only is he probably the most intense, direct, and abrasive individuals in the world of cooking, but he gives the jerks of most other networks a run for their money.
His jerkiness has a bit of a weakness, though. He really doesn’t seem that bad as long as you avoid making mistakes in the kitchen. If you make the grievous error of serving up a rare steak when it should have been medium rare, then may God have mercy on you, because Gordon Ramsay sure won’t.
Redeeming Factor: Delicious fish n’ chips.
Profanity: 10/10
Rudeness: 8/10
Backstabbingness: 0/10
Overall Jerkometer: B
It’s not easy being a genius. Everybody is dumb and proves it to you on a daily basis by doing stupid things, like eating earth worms. Did you know that earth worms carry 800 different kinds of deadly viruses and can spread over 70,000 different species of parasites? Dr. House knew that, and he expects 4-year-olds everywhere to know that, too.
Ultimately selfish and unsympathetic, House will do whatever he can to prove himself right, even he makes other people miserable in the process. The closer you get to him, the more he burns you.
Redeeming Factor: He can fix your back pain, but only after mocking you for 8 hours.
Profanity: 2/10
Rudeness: 9/10
Backstabbingness: 9/10
Overall Jerkometer: A
Sheldon isn’t really big on being a jerk for the sake of being a jerk. He’s sort of a jerk as a byproduct of his philosophy. The path of logic does not allow for trifling things like emotion and feelings, so a true smartass like Sheldon can occasionally trample over a person’s good will without even meaning to do it. He’s more quirky than jerky, but his weirdness makes it difficult to connect with him.
As long as you approach things logically and don’t put yourself out on a limb emotionally, you won’t be scarred too terribly.
Redeeming Factor: He can tell you the approximate astronomical between the Earth and the moon.
Profanity: 1/10
Rudeness: 7/10
Backstabbingness: 4/10
Overall Jerkometer: C+
Other TV jerks have to tip their hats to Simon Cowell, who was in many ways the front runner for modern television jerkiness. Simon’s brand of cruelty can be summed up in one simple phrase: The truth hurts. He’s not so interested in making you twist in emotional agony; he just wants to make sure that you understand how terribly bad of a singer you are.
Redeeming Factor: He will honestly tell you if those pants make you look fat.
Profanity: 2/10
Rudeness: 10/10
Backstabbingness: 0/10
Overall Jerkometer: A-
