Horror movies of the found-footage variety have risen and fallen in popularity in the dozen years since The Blair Witch Project took the world by storm. In the wake of recent buzzy movies in this genre (including The Devil Inside and Chronicle) it should be no surprise that the trend is finally making the jump to television.
ABC’s The River (co-created by Oren Pelli, creator of the found-footage juggernaut Paranormal Activity franchise) follows a family as they search for their missing husband and father. He happens to be a famed Steve Irwin-esque explorer who traveled the world looking for amazing creatures. This enables the show’s conceit; they are funding the search through a documentary with an accompanying crew filming their search. Think The Office, but with missing people, and ghosts.
There are some people in this big bad world that make it all seem less death-y and warlike and sad. People who transcend, like a hot air balloon held aloft with love… so, like an un-creepy/wholesome hot love balloon. These people are so rare they’re like the Vancouver Island marmot or the Yangtze River dolphin. You might see one if you travel to China, then sit on a rowboat for a week straight, then get lucky. Or you might see one if he gets a Discovery Channel television show. If you do see one, you’ll be changed on the inside—like a potato that starts out hard and kind of wet but then, once baked with the experience of a lifetime, softens right up and becomes mashable. Steve made my insides become mashable, which I discovered when he died.
Image source: Animal.discovery.com
It wasn’t just the croc wrangling, the crikeys, the goofy grin on a big face, the teary-eyed love for the crawliest spider, the khaki outfits, the strong legs… it was the ultimate devotion between man and wife, Steve and Terri, that turned my intense entertainment-style fascination into true, life-long admiration. Two peculiar, astonishing, almost agonizingly sincere people, both in love with all nature’s creatures, both enchanted by hiking boots and bangs… that they found each other is amazing enough. A more perfect union there never was. But then, that they found me, beamed from the other side of the world, smiling and dopey for crocs… I’ve never had warmer feelings for a coupla kooks I don’t even know, and I never will.
Image source: Animal.discovery.com
Steve Irwin was simply a delight to the institution of delight. Sorry Terri, you’re awesome too and surprisingly hot, but Steve had that thing that makes a man a monument. Steve Irwin didn’t sweat sweat, he sweat love potions: potions for wallabies, potions for snakes and potions for children of all ages. I think that’s why he was killed in the sea. His potions got trapped under his cute wetsuit. I joke, but it’s not a joke. Seeing Terri’s first interview after his death was so acutely painful, so completely miserable to watch… I’m still not over it. I don’t know how you bounce back from something like that—losing your perfect love.
Image source: Animal.discovery.com
On a lighter note: Bindi.
Image source: Animal.discovery.com
The girl is amazing: precocious, cute, and just like her dad. I have really high hopes that one day she’ll fill his muddy shoes in my heart. But what’s this music business? I keep seeing her on talk shows doing raps with creepazoid adult back-up dancers in matching outfits, and I think, “Bindi, you’re a fine girl! This is undignified!” Then again, when your dad was Steve Irwin, raising his fist and shouting “Whoo Hoo” and “Blimey, she’s a fine shiela!” all over international television, I guess you’re entitled to be a little hard-of-dignity sometimes. And I guess we better love you for it.
Next time you visit The History Channel, you’re sure to notice an intriguing new trend. The History Channel is delving into the lives of the blue collar America and allowing us a peek into the dangerous, gritty, hard labor jobs of those who lead a a do-or-die career outside the walls of a cubicle. Though many Americans are currently frustrated with the job market and feel upset by the lack of career opportunities that match our hopes and qualifications, we realize we do not have to risk our lives in the Louisiana swamp lands hunting gators to feed our families such as those on “Swamp People” who call the bayou home.
The characters featured on “Swamp People” work as hunters and trappers on Louisiana’s largest swamp and enjoy a historic Cajun culture. The show follows their endeavors during hunting season, but most of those involved on the show have off season jobs which are equally physically demanding such as repairing large boats and driving large 18-wheelers. Watching a man in overalls wrestle and rolling gator as he shouts obscenities through out the swamp couldn’t be more entertaining.
image: historychannel.com
From the comfort of our living room we admire the brave women of “Ice Road Truckers” who skillfully maneuver trucks weighing tons through slippery terrain and winding roads. “Ice Road Truckers” shows how extreme weather conditions and heavy loads can endanger the lives of of each driver on nearly a daily basis. It’s nothing short of amazing to watch these women and men drive in conditions so dangerous and threatening.
image: historychannel.com
The fishers on “Big Shrimpin’” nicknamed, “Bullfrog”, “Roundhead” and “Redbone” are boat captains who aim to make the most of shrimp season as they sail upon rough waters amongst tumultuous weather conditions to bring home large loads of shrimp to sell for a big price. Stakes are high with the pressure to reel in the pounds before the season ends.
image: historychannel.com
The rise in popularity of such shows indicates an increased interest in lives and professions that most of us can’t relate to. Dealing with gators, stormy seas, and ice ridden roads for a living are not typical trails for the everyday American. The characters on the shows are colorful as well with accents and slang not heard on a typical day.
