Welcome to our newest segment, If It Hadn’t Been Cancelled, a series that explores what might have happened is a show kept on ticking.
Friday, December 13, 2002. The CEOs at FOX had just gotten off of a conference call with Satan, promising the deliver the souls of several orphans in exchange for a 5.3% increase in ratings in the 2003 year. After ordering the secretary to go find some puppies to kick, one of the FOX CEOs grabbed his diamond-encrusted “Murder Phone” called up Joss Whedon, and told him the following message:
Translated into the mortal tongue, that message means, “We’re cancelling Firefly. Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha.”
And as they hung up, Joss felt a great disturbance, as if millions of nerds suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.
Unfortunately, it was something that a lot of us could see coming. Joss Whedon’s television series, Firefly, was off to a shaky start but hat a devoted group of fans. These fans, calling themselves the “Browncoats,” started a campaign to send postcards to FOX, begging them not to cancel the show.
Predictably, FOX killed the show to cut losses and save money, but that turned out to be a mistake. Since the DVD release, Firefly has gained a massive following based on a mere 14 episodes, as that was all it took to capture the hearts of millions of fans. Firefly may have been a late bloomer, but it has proven to be a true heavy-hitter, prompting Stargate co-creator to call it “possibly one of the best canceled series in history.”
Here are 5 episodes we would have loved to see if Firefly hadn’t been crushed.
5. High Noon
One of the crew members of Serenity picks a fight with the wrong person and ends up getting pulled into a duel with a local sharpshooter. This classic Wild West duel is just too classic to pass up.
Image: Tyler's Happy Place Blogspot
The Twist: While we might think of the Captain as being the perfect candidate to shoot down the local thug, think again. Mal already fought a duel in “Shindig,” so expect the duelist to be Zoey, Wash, or maybe even Simon.
The Climax: Jayne, high atop a building in a sniper’s roost, shoots the gun out of the bad guy’s hand, making it look like Simon is the deadliest gun this side of the border planets. Kaylee swoons.
4. Impounded
The Alliance finally makes good on their threats and impounds Serenity. The crew’s only chance to buy back their ship in the upcoming auction is to pull a daring suicide mission for a hefty sum. The problem? They’ve got to do it with a rental ship of dubious quality.
Image: Political Jesus
The Twist: Serenity was impounded because somebody sold them out, and the crew is bound to encounter this low-life in their suicide mission.
The Climax: “Now get off my ship,” Mal spits at Alliance scum as he wins back his pride and joy.
3. Road Trip
The gang takes a detour to visit Wash’s home. An episode like this was bound to happen sooner or later, as Wash was one of the most underdeveloped characters. Unsurprisingly, the Washburnes are in some trouble and need help.
Image: Guy in the Black Hat
The Twist: The Washburnes are even weirder than Wash.
The Climax: Wash saves Zoey, or vice-versa. Copious love-making ensues.
2. Siblings
The crew hears tale of another person who was smuggled out of Alliance custody, just like River. Simon convinces the group to visit the fellow fugitive to learn more information about River’s condition.
Image: Firefly Wikia
The Twist: Unbeknownst to our heroes, the Alliance is hot on the trail of the other fugitive, or is using the fugitive as a trap to lure out River.
The Climax: River and the other fugitive simultaneously break out in a brutal display of ass-whoopery, saving everyone’s hides.
1. I’ll Take the High Road
An excellent season finale, the group must split up to evade some terrible danger, half of the crew in Serenity and half of the crew in Inara’s shuttle. Both groups manage to make it out alive, but a problem with communication scrambles the message containing their rendezvous point. The crew is split in halves, without any way of knowing where in the ‘Verse their friends are.
Image: Erth Station One
The Twist: Mal, ever practical, is ready to cut his losses and start hiring new crew. Kaylee breaks down, wondering how he could ever abandon Wash and Zoey, leaving them stranded and alone. Mal gives her one of his captain speeches, informing her that they’re going to have to hire some unsavory folk if they are going to get the manpower they need to track down the rest of the crew.
The Climax: Shocking no one, some of the new crew betrays Mal, but other members of the new crew band together with Mal, helping him defeat the baddies and reclaiming Serenity. The ship gains 1 or 2 more permanent residents.
