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Though many have been fooled by his disproportionately large chin, impressive hair follicles and special brand of quaint “humor”, we can today strike the entire country of India off the list of those impressed by Jay Leno. (For those of you who are curious, the list is now whittled down to my aunt and uncle from New Hampshire and my best friend Terra’s chocolate Lab, Chester, and even Chester’s now saying he’s on the fence about the whole thing).
In 1604, Guru Arjan Dev completed the Adi Granth, the holy scripture of Sikhism, and installed it in the Gurdwara. In 1634, Guru Hargobindleft Amritsar for the Shivalik Hills and for the remainder of the seventeenth century the city and gurdwara was in the hands of forces hostile to the Sikh Gurus.
Consider yourselves duly enlightened.

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So begins the saga of the biggest news story since the discover of that one high-tech laser option for fungus toenails. Needless to say, neither the Sikh religion nor India (nor much of America, for that matter), like having anything to do, directly or tangentially, with Mitt Romney. There has been a large public outcry and even the Overseas Indian Affairs Minister has gotten involved, which is how you know it’s really serious. And, perhaps inspired by another one of America’s celebrated late-night hosts, a large online petition has been formed, decrying Leno’s blatant racism and calling for an end to his characteristically defamatory remarks. No word yet as to whether or not Mitt Romney has jumped on that particular bandwagon, but it might not be a terribly bad idea. Here’s hoping it distracts everyone from that pesky tax thing, right?
In any case, this isn’t the first time an American personality has managed to rile the ire of an entire foreign country. Remember the Revolutionary War? England wasn’t too happy with us then, were they? And, continuing in the same fine tradition, anyone remember the whole Snoop-Dogg-Banned-From-Britain thing? He was just carrying the torch of our forefathers, folks. (I mean, not his forefathers, per se…that war came later. Wow, what a murky morass of historical significance I have attempted to traverse!) Regardless, sources close to the rapper report that he is “wary” of Leno’s attempts to “tread on his street cred.”** Now, that’s one for the history books.

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**Not really.

