Television Families: Who’s Invited to Dinner?

With Showtime’s Shameless back on TV, the show’s Gallagher family continue their reign as television’s most dysfunctional brood. Here, we take a look at some of TV’s other dysfunctional families, past and present, judging their level of dysfunction and shamelessness on whether we would invite them over for dinner.

The Camden Family from 7th Heaven

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Smile!

The Camdens have their fair share of closet skeletons: oldest daughter Mary once TP’d a school gymnasium, young Simon once hit and killed a kid with his car. Still, the Camden kids stayed pretty well-behaved. They knew their pastor father had God on speed-dial.

Shameless Factor: 0/10

Would we invite them to dinner? Actually, no. We would have to watch our mouths with the Reverend and his wife around, and there are more kids than we’re willing to prepare dinner for.

The Braverman family from Parenthood

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The Braverman Clan

The Bravermans are actually just a super awesome family! Grandpa is the star of a local (possibly national?) off-brand Viagra commercial, Sarah Braverman dates her daughter’s teacher, and young’n Max knows, like, everything about spiders (mainly because his autism grants him with super obsessive tendencies and a really good memory).

Shameless Factor: 4/10…due to teacher dating and a relativly high number of family events impacted by in-fighting.

Would we invite them to dinner? Of course! With a new family crisis every week, we would be lucky if the Bravermans even had time to fit us into their schedules. Unlce Crosby and Sarah, without a doubt, would provide the most entertainment.

The Simpson family from The Simpsons

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Ay Carumba!

There’s something in the water over in good ol’ Springfield, because for the last 20+ years, this TV family has looked the same. In the real world, Bart would have been sent to juvenile detention at least six times by now, and Homer would have been arretsed for suspected child abuse…but hey, we probably wouldn’t want to watch THAT show, now would we?

Shameless Factor: 6/10

Would we invite them to dinner? Sure – because we would only have to entertain Marge. Homer and the kids strike us as the type that would come over for dinner and sit in front of our TV rather than sit around catching up.

The Tanner family from Full House

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You got it, dude!

The Tanners would be the most popular family if they lived on your block! They even have a recording studio in their house that you’re totally welcome to check out as long as that red light in the kitchen isn’t on. Still, all families come with baggage. Hanging out with the Tanners guarantees you’ll have to have face-time with Kimmy, and we’re still unsure whether Michelle’s horse accident-induced amnesia ever cleared up.

Shameless Factor: 7/10….Come to think of it, having your dad anchor the local morning talk show, and your uncle host a somewhat creepy children’s TV show would be fairly embarrasing. No wonder Stephanie was so angsty!

Would we invite them to dinner? Eh. Maybe we could just do drinks with Mary-Kate instead. She always struck us as the “fun twin” anyway.

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