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We’ve lamented before over the loss of Firefly, Joss Whedon’s sci-fi western epic which was tragically cut down in its first and only season. Even though we eventually got to see the ending as a movie, fans continue to wish for more adventures with Captain Mal and the crew of the ship Serenity.

However, if fans did receive their wish and Firefly had lasted for multiple seasons, would we still consider it one of the finest sci-fi shows on television? Would the romance between Simon and Kaylee have been drawn out for a ridiculously long time, only to fizzle out when they did get together? Would actors leave the show halfway, making us hate their replacements? Would Firefly have eventually jumped the shark?

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In a perfect world a television show would play only as long for as long as it was still engaging and the last episode would air right before the show became tired and boring. Once-quality shows like The Simpsons and The Office would be put out to pasture while at the top of their game, instead of suffering for years. Is it even worth having so many episodes of The Simpsons that the show could support its own cable network when fans only care about the earlier seasons?

Maybe we should take a cue from across the pond and set up our shows the way they do in England. That would mean only a few seasons of a show, and only a handful of episodes per season.Spaced might have had a small run by American standards, but it’s a work of pure genius that similar shows like The Big Bang Theory couldn’t hope to reproduce.

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Smaller shows mean smaller budgets, allowing networks to take greater risks on weird shows like The Mighty Boosh.  Given the same limitations over here, there’s no doubt that we’d see a golden renaissance of American television and terms like “jump the shark” would be obsolete.

On the other hand, consider how different shows like Parks and Recreation or Community would be if they were cut off after only six episodes. Many television shows don’t hit their stride until the second or third season as the actors further develop the characters and writers weave a complex world. We’ve all found ourselves telling a friend “Once you get past the first couple of episodes, this show is really great.”

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Maybe the creators of Arrested Development were the only ones who got it right. Although the show only aired for three seasons, it was enough time for the cast to develop an amazing chemistry and for the writers to build up a number of inside jokes and catch phrases. The show was taken off the air just before it began to show any flaws and is now scheduled to return to TV once again.

In the battle between quantity versus quality, the winner may in fact be both. The ideal TV show would be one with unlimited episodes that are always consistent in quality.

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Our blog series Don’t Miss This Episode takes you in to the standout episodes of your favorite shows.

Who in their right mind would set about trying to pinpoint the most unmissable Saturday Night Live? What deranged mind could possibly sift through thirty-seven seasons’ worth of episodes, searching for the best of the best? Internet, meet moi. I am said crazy individual–well, me and these guys. And maybe these ones, too. Whatever. They are my brethren and this is my quest.

Every season of America’s most longstanding and celebrated weekly comedy show has had its ups and downs; cast members that didn’t work, producers who worked too much and recurring characters who simply wouldn’t die. But once in a blue moon (that blue moon being what is in my opinion the show’s heyday–the mid 70′s with Gilda Radner, Bill Murray, Chevy Chase and the like) along comes a show that just seems right. And this is it.

To begin with, there’s the host, Steve Martin. He has hosted the show fifteen times to date (it doesn’t seem right to me that Alec Baldwin has edged ahead–they need to get Martin back on the show, stat), but it’s easy to understand why some people mistook him for a cast member. The reason Steve is so special is that he blends seamlessly into his surroundings and works perfectly alongside the cast members. He’s never “that celebrity doing awkward comedy for a night” as are so many of the hosts today. He’s there not to make an appearance but to add to the comedy, and this episode in particular captures some of his greatest sketches including King Tut, the “Wild and Crazy Guys” with Dan Aykroyd and his hilarious, yet strangely moving dance with Gilda Radner (below), which beautifully toes the line between silly and sublime:

And let’s not forget the musical guest (who can often drive an SNL episode into notoriety if not done right–we’re looking at you, Ashlee Simpson). Who could be more perfect than the Blues Brothers, alter egos of immensely talented cast members John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd?

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The real joy of watching an episode like this is getting to see performers at the tops of their powers doing precisely what it is they love to do, with an entire creative team behind them pulling together. If reading the history of Saturday Night Live taught me anything it’s that things behind the scenes of this show rarely ran smoothly, but it’s easy to forget that when the writing is so spot-on, the performances hilarious and the sketches so memorable. Many of the cast members in this episode met with untimely tragedy, but this is their real legacy: seeing comedians like John Belushi look like they’re genuinely having fun being onstage and making the country laugh. Don’t miss this episode.

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Yeah, I watch a lot of television. I have a very long list of shows I enjoy, and I’m usually willing to give new ones a single episode trial run, at the very least. But there are only so many hours in a day and sometimes I have to write blog posts. So, inevitably, there are some shows I just haven’t seen. Sometimes I genuinely don’t want to watch something because it looks stupid. Other times, it’s just a sad reality of living: too much T.V., too little life to waste on it. But not watching a show doesn’t stop me from forming an opinion. Usually it’s based on partially glimpsed advertisements, tabloid news, overheard conversations, and muted commercials. Here are my uninformed impressions/opinions of five shows I’ve never watched. Enjoy.

Dancing With the Stars

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It’s fun to watch people try to do something they don’t know how to do. Overweight people like Kirstie Alley give us an exciting real-time progression of before-to-after. People we think are unusual or otherwise freakshowish like Chaz Bono are encouraged, because what’s better than watching a freak dance? Nothing. I imagine there are lots of dance studio shots of celebrities breaking down or getting divaish. Also, there are long pauses before they announce the winners of each round. Am I right?

Hoarders

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There is nothing less appealing to me than a reality television show that exploits people with real psychiatric disorders. It’s not cool to enjoy illness and suffering, no matter how shocking or sensational it may seem. This is the kind of show people in sci-fi dystopias watch on television—when all ethical and moral quandaries have been supplanted with Victory Gin and lobotomies.

Bear Grylls: Man vs. Wild

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Eff you, Bear Grylls. You’re not Steve Irwin and you never will be. I bet you have a film crew ready to bail you out every second and you secretly sleep in hotels when you’re supposed to be surviving on desert islands or whatever. Or maybe that’s the survival show guy? I don’t know. I’ve never watched him either.

Storage Wars

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So this is where people go to storage units and fight over what’s in them, right? I can see how this could be awesome if the storage units were owned by like a Sting or a Jay-Z, but I bet Sting and Jay-Z pay their monthly storage bills. Instead it’s probably show after show of hagglers haggling over picture frames and candlesticks. Not to mention the poor people who get to watch their family heirlooms in a tug-of-war on T.V. No thanks.

The Real Housewives Franchise

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Considering my ridiculous attachment to Jersey Shore, maybe I should give this a chance. But I wonder, rather than oranging-up for a T.V. show, shouldn’t they be, like, bonding with their kids or doing other “real” housewifey things? It just seems to me like a bunch of filthy rich ladies with weird surgery faces complaining about their tiny dogs.

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The last time we had a new episode of Mad Men to watch was back in October of 2010. Since then we’ve watched shows like Pan-Am and The Playboy Club try, and fail, to recapture the retro-dramatic intrigue that makes Mad Men so popular. March 25^th marks the debut of Season Five on AMC and with such a long gap in between the production schedule, we’re guaranteed to see some changes to the show. Here are just a few things we think will be different when Mad Men returns from hiatus.

Time Travel

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Mad Men season premieres have been known to fast forward the story ahead a few years. With an almost two-year hiatus between seasons, we can be sure to see another time jump this year. We left the show in 1965, so it’s anyone’s guess as to what year the next season will be. Could Mad Men jump five years ahead and become the next That 70’s Show?

The Next Mrs. Draper

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The finale cliffhanger from last season was Don proposing to his secretary Megan. The couple didn’t have a long courtship, so we’re thinking that a long engagement is out. We’ll start the season either with Don and Megan’s wedding or with a happily married couple who are expecting their first baby together.

Sally the Teen

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We watched Sally mature in Season Four and it’s sure to be a continuing theme as the show progresses. With Sally going through puberty we can expect plenty of clashes between her and Betty—and possibly new stepmother, Megan. Sally is likely to be a bigger part of Don’s life as he struggles with his little girl blossoming into a woman of the 60’s.

Joan the Widow

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We all know now that the Vietnam War was brutal and bloody, but Joan will probably find that out the hard way. As the only main character with a loved one serving in the war, the odds are not in favor of her husband Greg returning home safely. However, Joan is also carrying Roger’s baby, so her husband’s death might just make a complicated situation much easier to deal with.

Peggy Breaks Out

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We’ve watched Peggy go from meek typing girl to full fledged copywriter, but she’s not done getting hers just yet. She seemed unsure of her future with the company when we last saw her—could this be the season where Peggy breaks out on her own? It would be entertaining to watch the student take on her teacher and have Peggy working at a rival company, competing with Don over a client

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For every long-running reality show (Survivor, The Amazing Race, etc.), there also exists one that lasted for just a brief, shining moment in time. There are a multitude of reasons why a show doesn’t take off. Sometimes it’s really terrible, sometimes it’s great but doesn’t connect with a wide audience, and sometimes the show premise is such that anything more than a season or two would be redundant, and would dilute the greatness of the show. I consider these to be the boutique reality shows; small, special, and not widely available. Today, I’ll talk about one of my favorites of these, The Carolla Project.

Most people know Adam Carolla from his long stint as the irreverent cohost of MTV’s Loveline, or as one of the parties responsible for The Man Show, Comedy Central’s salute to perpetual arrested development. These shows were not up my alley, and I did not connect with Carolla’s sneering brand of juvenile humor. But for 13 weeks in 2005, my husband and I caught Carolla fever as we got sucked into his show, The Carolla Project, on TLC.

The Carolla Project followed Adam as he purchased his childhood home from his father and renovated it for resale. Carolla evidently knows his stuff when it comes to carpentry and construction, but instead of hiring an A-team, he assembled a group of misfit buddies of his from his pre-fame days. The relationship he has with these guys is the reason the show works so well. As a group, the show portrays their construction skills as mildly competent on the best of days, so we weren’t watching to acquire new skills. But the hijinks of Carolla and his crew felt real and lived-in, with a history and camaraderie that couldn’t be faked. This ragtag bunch included:

Ray, Adam’s childhood best friend. Ray is a big lug with hidden depths and what seems to be undiagnosed ADD. He does what he wants, including wearing flip-flops on a job site, and stripping down to his skivvies to test out the swimming pool.

Gary, a mild-mannered nature-loving loner who was so unfazed by Adam’s fame that he thought for about the first 5 or 6 years of their acquaintance that Adam was a janitor.

Billy, the hard-headed guy from Queens with excellent taste in hats. Possibly the most talented construction worker of the bunch, but not great at expressing himself.

Ozwaldo, the incomprehensible yet lovable caretaker of the group. He came to California from Nicaragua over a decade ago, but even the people doing the subtitles on the show can’t understand what he’s trying to say. He communicates through food though, cooking everyone massive barbecues whenever he can get away with it.

Steve, an actual licensed general contractor and electrical contractor who dabbles in arena football on the side. Definitely the most organized of the group, but lacks the patience to lead the team.

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Adam’s saucy wife Lynette and flamboyant assistant Matt also make frequent appearances on the show.

This show works because it’s really just a flimsy excuse for Carolla to be able to work on his dream renovation project with his friends. The show is just a means to bankrolling the project. Since there are no high stakes or hidden agendas, we get a true slice of life experience that’s lacking in competitive reality shows. Sadly, TLC hasn’t released a DVD of the series, so it’s likely this gem will be lost forever, living on only in my heart. I’ll watch him on the upcoming Celebrity Apprentice, but I’m sure it will be a pale imitation.

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Last October, show runner Graham Linehan announced the cancellation of British geek-friendly comedy The I.T. Crowd after only four seasons (man, those Brits need to learn to milk their shows until they run themselves into the ground like we do). Although The I.T. Crowd was slated for a fifth season to start production this year, it seems that Linehan himself has opted to cease the show’s run, but promises an extended special in 2012.

Well, it’s 2012! It may only be February, but as I’ve just remembered this juicy little tidbit, I can now start eagerly and impatiently awaiting news of my favorite computer technicians. Jen, Roy, and Moss work as tech support to a large corporation, though who knows what the company itself does. As the resident techies, they are banished to the basement to live a most demeaning (but lucky for us, hilarious) existence. Instead of spending their time building revolutionary drones, they construct something more along these lines:

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Irish comedian Chris O’Dowd of Bridesmaids fame stars as one of the three leads. The relatable and unlucky-with-ladies Roy is O’Dowd’s best known role, though you might also know him from other flicks from the States such as Friends with Kids and Gulliver’s Travels.

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And Sherlock fans recently saw Katherine Parkinson (Jen) in much more serious role. In The I.T. Crowd, she plays a single woman who knows nothing about computers faking her way through a management job. In Sherlock, she was that reporter you wanted to punch in the face.

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Of course, the show’s main wild card (and therefore main source of one-liners) is Maurice Moss, played by one of my personal TV crushes, Richard Ayoade. Ayoade was apparently so irreplaceable that he played the same character on the failed American remake, but is most known nowadays for his movie, Submarine. Ayoade wrote and directed this critically acclaimed film based on the novel by Joe Dunthorne.

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I shudder to think of how many of my hipster, microbrewery-frequenting, bespectacled Portland brethren are going to go out and ironically buy this new book they’ve got cooking up. You see, folks, the good people behind the IFC’s Portlandia are not content to lovingly (and accurately) spoof my city week-in and week-out. Nope, they’ve got to go turn it into a book, which can then be sold in said city to the very people Portlandia was spoofing in the first place. And so, as a great lion with deep resonant tones once said, the great circle of life continues.

It’s actually not a bad idea, really. Pitchfork reports that the book will be entitled PORTLANDIA: A Guide for Visitors and will serve as a sort of comedic travel guide. It will employ the same tone as has been developed on the show by creators Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen, leading folks through popular sights, restaurants and neighborhoods with the same sardonic bent as on the show. Honestly, I’m all in favor of it; if you’re going to write a travel guide it might as well be by people who know the city and know how to bring the right attitude to the various sights and activities. I do see one problem, however: I just know that before long people are going to start showing up looking for the city of Portlandia instead of Portland. I plan on telling them it’s in Canada because we don’t want those types of people here in America anyway.

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This book joins the ranks of the Daily Show’s America: The Book and Earth: A Visitor’s Guide to the Human Race, which both read as textbooks or guides with the same satirical attitude as those comedy programs. And if those books are its cousin, then its creepy, dark uncle is that one children’s story Decemberists frontman and Portland native Colin Meloy wrote about the wilds of Forest Park.

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The big question that I’m sure you all are dying to have answered is: will I buy the book myself? Well, I’m never going to say never, though I would think it’d be a little un-cool to have it. I mean, it’d be nice, I guess. If it was lying open on a shelf in Powell’s I might just stop and give it a few page flips. And I could always say I was only interested in it for the humor…and if I just happened to look every once in a while at restaurant recommendations…oh, whatever. My parents are probably going to get it for me for Christmas anyway, so let that be an end to it.

ALF

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Let’s start with the obvious: ALF eats cats. That’s pretty freaking weird. Wanna get a whole lot weirder? ALF is an alien from the planet Melmac. To make matters even stranger, he somehow crash-landed in suburban Los Angeles and took up residence in the garage of the Tanner family. Dad plays the skeptical antagonist, who regards ALF more like a deadbeat stepson than a feline-hungry Alien Life Form.

Small Wonder

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Kids are creepy enough on their own. So what happens when an already creepy-looking kid transforms into an even creepier robot? That’s precisely what Ted Lawson, robotics engineer and Lawson family patriarch, set out to find when he created the robot-child V.I.C.I (Voice Input Child Indenticant – pronounced Vicki). Sure, she almost looks like a regular nine-year-old child, maybe if you squint your eyes and forget about the AC outlet in her arm. While you’re at it, you should also dismiss her super human strength, the access panel in her back, and her failed attempts to learn human behavior.

Zoobilee Zoo

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Maybe it’s just me but I’ve always found Ben Vereen to be kind of disturbing. He’s just… too happy. Put him in a prosthetic animal nose and a two-bit costume from the original Broadway production of Cats? Wowzers. The rest of the lesser-known actors who comprise the cast are truly the stuff of nightmares. They sing, they dance, and they frolic, all the while wearing greasy face paint and fuzzy polyester wigs. Truly terrifying.

Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood

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Four words: old dude with puppets. All he’s missing is some licorice candy in his pocket and he’d be a full-on creeper. Oh, and what’s with his flat, off key singing? And who’s operating the train set? And how does Mr. Rogers’ own an entire neighborhood? And, on that note, what does he do for a living? It is important questions like these, I fear, that just might follow me to the grave.

Bozo the Clown

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Surely the creators of The Simpsons’ character Krustee the Clown had to draw at least a little inspiration from Bozo the Clown. Not only does he look like a guy that probably has some real “sad clown” issues going on, but he is also pretty sketchy-looking. I will concede that I have a bit of a bias against white clown makeup. For starters, it made Bozo’s teeth look super yellow. It also made his eyes appear bloodshot, which would lead most logical people to question his activities prior to taping. Personally, I’d like to see Bozo touch his shiny clown nose and walk a straight line.

Jack and Liz – 30 Rock

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Jack and Liz’s relationship might be best described as a ‘bromance,’ but it’s one that could easily turn into something real. Jack provides Liz with the tools to become a responsible adult while Liz provides Jack with an opportunity to relax and enjoy life. Jack’s recent meddling in Liz’s relationship even further confirms how desperately these two should just admit that they need each other.

Sookie and Alcide – True Blood

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There have been so many guys in Sookie’s life—Bill, Sam, Eric– but none seem quite the right match as Sookie and werewolf Acide. Maybe it’s because she sees him as a friend that she allows herself to be so much less annoying when she’s around him—or maybe it’s because we feel sorry that Alcide is stuck with crazy Debbie as a wife. Either way, these two should become the new alpha couple in Bon Temps.

Britta and Troy – Community

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Even though Jeff spent the first season trying to get with Britta, that romantic plotline has since fizzled out to make way for Britta and Troy. These two loveable dummies feel more natural than Jeff and Britta ever did. Jeff is callous and calculating, while Troy is sensitive and sweet—which is a better match for bleeding heart Britta.

Carol and Daryl – The Walking Dead

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Despite their unfortunate rhyming names, these two survivors seem like they’re a zombie attack away from jumping into a relationship together. Carol sees the good in Daryl that even Daryl himself isn’t able to see. Now that Sophia is dead, it’s time for Daryl to step up and be that good man that Carol needs.

Damon and Elena – The Vampire Diaries

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Sure, getting together with your brother’s ex-girlfriend is going to make family gatherings that much more awkward, but that shouldn’t stop Damon and Elena from going official. Even if Elena and Stefan fans were so upset that they sent death threats to the show’s creators when Damon kissed Elena, we think ‘Delena’ is here to stay.

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Leaving itself wide open for all manner of bad medical-terminology-death puns, Fox has decided to cancel its long-running medical drama House after eight seasons of furrowed brows and sticking it to the man.

The press release seems to convey the personal loss and sadness of all involved in the making of House. In fact the president of Fox, Kevin Reilly, even goes so far as to speak of “the lump in his throat” as he sadly imparts the news. Might want to get someone to look at that lump, Kevin. It could be an early sign of hypoglycemia nanophelioma. And yes, I did just make that name up. Show me one House writer who hasn’t done the same thing at least once in the last eight years.

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I’m greeting this news with something of a heavy heart. It was always comforting to know that when I was at the gym, or just lounging upside down on my couch as I am wont to do, there would always be a House episode airing somewhere for me to stumble across and half-listen to while I was in the kitchen making a sandwich. House was an incredibly watchable show, thanks in part to its celebrated formula in which everyone decides on a diagnosis for the patient that is disproved and solved at the zero-hour by House himself. It was here I learned the truth about brain tumors, vomiting and foot care after surgery. Where would I be today without those lessons?

And let’s not forget, House had a great cast. Hugh Laurie as a grizzled pseudo-Sherlock Holmes (no wonder I liked the show), Robert Sean Leonard as his sweet, loyal Wilson (Watson). And the revolving door of supporting team members all trying to cross and double-cross each other, or House, or the patient depending on whose neuroses were reigning supreme that particular week. Ah, drama.

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But there’s still a few things to look forward to until the end of May, when the show will officially end. It’ll be interesting to see how they provide closure to House and his team. And I’m excited to see what the future holds in store for the show’s stars, Hugh Laurie in particular. The man is a fantastically talented actor and it’ll be fun to watch him stretch his legs in a newer, fresher role.

What are your thoughts as to the impending doom of House? Excited? Sad? Indigestion? Let me know below!