Television actors and actresses are awarded with a number of accolades each year, from the prestigious Emmy Awards to the slime-covered Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards. For all the praise we heap onto television actors, the characters that they portray rarely get the recognition they deserve.

So when a TV character does receive an honor, it’s a triumphant occasion worthy of an outrageous award that could only exist in TV land. However, if these TV awards were real, we think we’d have a really good chance of winning one of them—if not all of them.

The Dundies – The Office

The Dundies aren’t just your run-of-the-mill office awards, they are a extravagant event emceed by uber-boss Michael Scott. There are jokes, music, an excessive amount of drinking and then there’s the prize–a glorious golden statuette known as a Dundie. Each Dundie is unique to the person who wins it, with categories that include “Cutest Redhead in the Office Award,” “Show Me the Money Award” and “Spicy Curry Award.”

Sure, everybody in the office gets a Dundie, so it’s not exactly hard to win one—the real trick is winning a good Dundie and not something slightly offensive. It’d be really easy to win the “Whitest Sneakers Award”, but also really easy to accidentally win the “Don’t Go In There After Me Award” too. Our safest bet? The “Fine Work Award.” You really just need to show up to work to win it.

 

The Shiva – The League

Some fantasy football leagues play for money, others play for fun—but the league from The League play for a much more sacred award—the legendary Shiva. Named after the guys’ sexy high school classmate Shivakamini Somakandarkram, the Shiva is a sacred shrine adorned with items swiped from the real Shiva.

Even if we’d rather watch the Puppy Bowl than the Super Bowl, we still think the Shiva could be within our grasp—afterall, Taco has come close before and he doesn’t even try to play right. Winning the Shiva takes the ability to backstab, to psych out your opponents and to cheat if necessary. All we have to do is turn off our natural instinct for empathy and the Shiva will fall into our laps.

Most – 30 Rock

NBC executive Jack Donaghy is an accomplished man with nearly superhuman qualities—so when he graduated from Harvard Business School, his classmates voted him “Most.” Forget “Best Hair” or “Most Likely to Succeed,” this is the senior class award we wish we could win the most.

It wouldn’t be easy to achieve such an extreme level of excellence, but Jack worked his way up to the top of the food chain from a childhood of impoverishment. Who’s to say we couldn’t do the same? Granted we’d need his charm, his wit and Alec Baldwin’s good looks—but anything is possible if you pull yourself up by your bootstraps and psych yourself up in the mirror using advertising slogans.